Escape to Paradise: Adults-Only Luxury in Protaras, Cyprus
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the shimmering, sun-drenched world of Escape to Paradise in Protaras, Cyprus. Forget the perfectly manicured brochure promises – this is the real deal, my unfiltered take, the good, the slightly less good, and the downright amazing. And spoiler alert: I'm still dreaming of that pool.
First Impressions: Ooh Lala! (and a Bit of a Scramble…)
From the get-go, Escape to Paradise screams "adults only," which, as a tired human in desperate need of zen, is music to my ears. The initial impression? Gleaming. Polished. Expensive (in a good way). The lobby is slicker than a freshly oiled Greek god, with giant windows promising a view that makes you wanna just breathe. Getting there, however, was my first test. Protaras is lovely, sure, but my taxi driver, bless his heart, seemed to be navigating by the ancient art of "winging it." After what felt like a tour of every back street in the area, we finally arrived. Lesson learned: use the hotel's airport transfer. It's worth it.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (But Mostly Sunshine)
This is genuinely crucial, and you want to delve into that. It’s what makes or breaks a place for some. Now, Escape to Paradise claims to be accessible. The elevator, bless it, is a life-saver. But things get tricky. The website details accessible rooms, and the elevator access is great but I couldn't quite figure out every corner of the hotel. Some paths felt a little tight, particularly around the restaurants. So, my suggestion would be to contact the hotel directly and quiz them mercilessly about the specific needs you have. They seem genuinely keen on helping, so don’t shy away.
Sanitation & Safety: Feeling Safe… Mostly (and a Little Odd)
Okay, let's talk COVID. They're ON IT. And by that, I mean the sanitizing is relentless. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection? DOUBLE check. Hand sanitizer everywhere you look? Yep. Staff in masks and trained to within an inch of their lives? You got it. It’s reassuring. But… well, the sheer volume of it can feel a little clinical. There were moments where I felt like I was being judged for even thinking about touching the handrail. But hey, I’d rather be safe than sorry. The rooms get a thorough clean between stays, and the option to opt-out of room sanitization is a nice touch, if you're feeling brave (I wasn't).
The Room: My Personal Oasis (with a Few Quibbles)
My room was an absolute knockout. Air conditioning that actually works (a necessity in Cyprus), a ridiculously comfy bed, and blackout curtains that made me question if it was actually still daylight (a solid "yes" to getting maximum sleep). The amenities? Top-notch. Bathrobes, slippers, a mini-bar stocked with treats, and a gorgeous bathroom complete with a standalone shower and a bathtub. The only small issue? The lighting. It’s all a little… mood-lit. It's romantic as hell, yes, but trying to apply makeup in the dimness was a struggle of epic proportions. But hey, at least I looked good in the pool, more on that in a moment!
Internet: Yes, You Can Instagram the Sunset!
Free Wi-Fi everywhere? Absolutely. Fast and mostly reliable? Mostly. I managed to Skype my friend and share some photos, so that’s a big win from me.
The Pool: Where I Lost My Mind (in the Best Way Possible)
Okay, listen up: THE POOL. It’s the picture-perfect money shot in every brochure. But trust me, it’s even better in real life. Infinity edge spilling into the shimmering sea, sunloungers arranged just so, and a bar that delivers cocktails to your… wait for it… sunlounger. Yes, you can order a damn cocktail while you’re floating in the pool. It’s pure, unadulterated bliss. The pool is massive, with a view that makes you want to weep with joy. I spent HOURS here, lost in a book, slowly turning a shade of perfectly tanned lobster. Honestly, it’s worth the flight alone.
Food & Drink: A Culinary Adventure (with Some Hits and Misses)
Dining at Escape to Paradise is an experience, no doubt. The breakfast buffet – a glorious spread of everything your heart could desire, from Asian breakfasts to Western staples. Fresh fruit, pastries that melt in your mouth, and some of the best coffee I've had in ages… and if you’re running late, they offer a takeaway service. The restaurants are well-made, though the menus, a mix of international and Asian cuisine, can feel a little… safe. The poolside bar is a must. Their cocktails are dangerously delicious. And, oh, the desserts! Just… go. Try everything. You'll thank me later.
Things To Do (Besides Pooltime, Obviously)
They’ve got a gym, but I’m on vacation, so… no. A spa offering the usual array of treatments (massages, body wraps, the works). Didn’t get round to ALL that, but the masseuse I did see was magic. Protaras itself has a gorgeous location on the coast, with stunning beaches nearby, so get moving or relaxing.
Services and Conveniences: Everything You Could Possibly Need (and a Few You Didn’t Know You Did)
Daily housekeeping? Check. Laundry service? Check. Concierge desk to help with everything from booking taxis to finding the perfect restaurant? Absolutely, and always helpful. They even provide a car park! The staff is attentive without being overbearing. They've really thought of everything… except maybe a butler to bring me cocktails in my room. Well, a girl can dream…
The Less Glamorous Stuff (Because I'm Keeping it Real)
While the hotel is undeniably luxurious, I did notice a few quirks. The prices can be on the higher side (but hey, that's luxury!). And the occasional staff member seemed a little unsure about which side of the bed they got out of that morning (nothing major, and overall, the staff are wonderful at all they do).
The Verdict: Should You Escape? ABSOLUTELY
Look, Escape to Paradise isn't perfect. No place is. But the sheer beauty, the relaxation factor, the incredible pool, and the impeccable service make it a truly memorable experience. It's ideal for a couples getaway but will also work perfectly for single adults wanting some me time. If you’re looking for a dose of pure luxury, a place where you can truly unwind, and completely forget about the real world, then book your escape. You won't regret it.
Final Thoughts: Book Now! (and Maybe Pack Extra Sunscreen)
I'm already planning my return. The pool alone is worth the price of admission. Go, escape, and treat yourself. You deserve it.
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Escape to Paradise: Your Adults-Only Sanctuary in Protaras, Cyprus!
Tired of the everyday grind? Yearning for pure relaxation? Escape to Paradise in Protaras, Cyprus, is calling your name! Indulge in luxurious amenities, stunning views, and impeccable service.
- Unwind in Style: Luxurious rooms, a breathtaking infinity pool, and a world-class spa await.
- Adults-Only Bliss: Escape the noise and embrace tranquility in this exclusive sanctuary.
- Impeccable Safety: Experience peace of mind with rigorous hygiene protocols and attentive staff.
- Unforgettable Culinary Experiences: Savor delicious cuisine, from Asian breakfasts to poolside cocktails.
- Perfect Protaras Location: Explore the beautiful coastline and discover hidden gems.
Book your Escape to Paradise today and experience the ultimate luxury getaway! (Click here to book now!)
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Kuantan's BEST Budget Homestays: Unbeatable Prices & Amazing Stays!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Because this ain't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is… well, this is me, planning a trip to the Flamingo Paradise Beach Hotel in Protaras, Cyprus, and sharing every glorious, messy, and probably slightly hungover detail. Brace yourselves.
Flamingo Paradise Beach Hotel - Adults Only: My Messy, Opinionated, and Possibly Sunburnt Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Pool Debacle (Spoiler: It Happened)
- Morning (Sometime After 9 AM… Maybe): Arrive at Larnaca Airport (LCA). Pray to the travel gods that my luggage ALSO arrives. Always a gamble. Remember last time? Lost my favorite dancing shoes. Devastation. The flight? A blur of airplane peanuts, questionable movie choices, and the existential dread that only long-haul flights can conjure. Anyways, get a transfer to the hotel. Hopefully not with the driver who thinks the Autobahn is a suggestion.
- Afternoon (Early-ish): Check in at the Flamingo Paradise. "Adults Only" – Music to my ears. Actually, the hotel looks pretty slick. Modern, clean lines, kinda swanky. Hopefully, the reality matches the Insta pics. Unpack (haphazardly, of course), change into swimwear, and head straight for the pool. This is basically the only objective for about 48 hours.
- The Pool Debacle: Okay, the pool. It looked amazing. Picturesque. Serene. Then I got in. Let's just say… I'm not a graceful swimmer. Turns out, I might have been a little too enthusiastic with the pool inflatables (a flamingo, naturally). Ended up looking like a beached whale, desperately clinging to a rubber ring, while attempting to order a cocktail from a very unimpressed pool attendant. Mortifying. Ordered a Blue Curaçao, extra strong to drown my shame. Worth it.
- Evening: Dinner at the hotel restaurant. Hoping for something that doesn't involve questionable airplane food flashbacks. Praying for delicious seafood, and that I don't spill anything on myself (again). Afterward? Drinks at the bar. Possibly make some friends. Or, more likely, hide in a corner with a good book (and a gin and tonic). Let's be real, I'm an introvert at heart. The extrovert stuff is a performance, mostly.
Day 2: Sun, Sand… and a Little Regret (Maybe a Lot)
- Morning (Definitely Sunburnt): Woke up with a slight headache. Did I mention the Blue Curaçao? Decided to skip the hotel breakfast (because, let's face it, the thought of food was a bit much) and head straight for the beach. Figured some serious sunbathing was in order. SPF 50, check. Hat, check. Self-esteem?… Well, we'll work on that.
- Beach Bliss, Briefly Ruined: The beach was BEAUTIFUL. Crystal-clear water, golden sand, the works. Spent a solid hour basking in the sun, pretending I was a mermaid. Then, disaster struck. A rogue wave. My strategically placed beach towel. Gone. My dignity… slightly damaged. Found the towel eventually, covered in sand and seaweed. Decided to retreat to the safety of the pool (again).
- Afternoon: More pool time. More cocktails. The regret starts to simmer. Maybe should have paced myself yesterday. Maybe should have been a better person in my lifetime. Maybe I should have packed more sunscreen. Contemplating my life choices through the hazy veil of poolside relaxation.
- Evening: Dinner. Maybe finally venture outside the hotel for a proper Cypriot meal. Moussaka? Taverna dancing? Highly debatable. The lure of the hotel bed is strong. Very strong. Likely end up watching a terrible movie on my tablet. Or ordering room service. It's the adult-only life, after all.
Day 3: Cultural Day & The Unlikely Friendship (Spoiler: It Involves a Seagull)
- Morning: Attempt to be cultured. Visit the Cape Greco National Forest Park - supposed to be stunning. Rent a car? Nah, I’ll probably get lost, and end up in the middle of nowhere. Let's call a taxi. Hoping I don’t get a driver who thinks the speed limit is also a suggestion.
- Afternoon: Lunch. Find a local taverna. Embrace the local cuisine. Try something I've never had before (like halloumi, which is a MUST). Suffer the consequences later. (But hopefully, it's worth it).
- The Unlikely Friendship: Back at the hotel. This is where things get weird. Was sitting on my balcony, enjoying a snack, when a seagull landed right beside me. A massive seagull. He just looked. I offered him a bit of my sandwich. He ate it. Then… he stayed. We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out. He judged my questionable fashion choices. I gave him a name: Gary. I am currently friends with a seagull, which I still can't bring myself to believe.
- Evening: Farewell dinner. Slightly sad to be leaving. (And, let’s be honest, slightly relieved to escape the scorching sun). A toast to Gary, my new best friend. Maybe I’ll leave some bread out for him. Might even miss the chaos. (Okay, I'm definitely missing it. Already). Pack, reminisce on the trip, and pray my return flight goes smoothly. Then, it's back to reality. Until next time, Cyprus! You glorious mess. And Gary, if you're reading this (doubtful, but you never know), I'll miss you the most.
Day 4: Head Home & The Aftermath
- Morning: Wake up at the hotel.
- Afternoon: Head to the airport.
- Evening: Back home..
- Night: Start the process.
- Unpacking
- Laundry
- Start to daydream about next vacation.
- Tell all the friends and family about the experiences - good and bad.
And that’s it! This is probably going to be slightly different in person if that's how this vacation turns out or possibly changes. There is no way to know for sure. But I'm a realist… and a terrible planner. So, expect the unexpected. And maybe, just maybe, I'll come back with a tan, some great stories, and a slightly better sense of direction (and swimming). Wish me luck!
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Escape to Paradise: Your Guide (with a Healthy Dose of Reality)
So, what *is* Escape to Paradise, anyway? Is it as good as it sounds?
Alright, let's be real for a sec. It's an adults-only luxury resort in Protaras, Cyprus. Think: swanky rooms, beautiful pools, and the promise of blissful relaxation. And... yes, it *mostly* lives up to the hype. Picture this: You, sprawled on a sunbed, cocktail in hand, listening to the gentle lapping of waves. (Cue the slightly cheesy music in my head now). BUT, and this is important, "luxury" can be a slippery word. We'll get into that later. More on that later.
Is it *really* adults-only? Because I need a break from the little monsters.
Absolutely! No tiny humans allowed. Thank. God. Honestly, the peace and quiet is worth the price of admission alone. I'm talking full-on blissful, uninterrupted conversations, reading a book without a toddler shrieking in the background, and actually completing a thought. It's a sanctuary. A glorious, child-free sanctuary.
What kind of rooms can I expect? Because I'm picturing a ridiculously oversized bed.
The rooms are generally well-appointed, yes. And the beds? Pretty darn comfy. Mine was a giant king, and I swear I slept like a log. The views? Stunning, if you spring for the sea-view room. I did, because I'm easily swayed by a good panorama. Here's a little secret: the ‘superior’ sea view rooms are sometimes (emphasis on *sometimes*) just a *slightly* better view than the other sea view rooms. I noticed this after I’d already paid the extra. Oops. My bad. But the balconies are great for evening drinks, though. And that’s the important thing.
The food. Tell me about the food! I'm a foodie, and this is important.
Okay, food. A mixed bag, honestly. The main buffet restaurant is… well, it's a buffet. Which means variety, yes, but also the occasional lukewarm dish and a whole lot of beige. Breakfast? Fantastic. Fresh fruit, omelets made to order, the works. Lunch and dinner, though? Hit or miss. Some days you’re thinking, "Mmm, this is actually quite good," and other days you're wondering if the chef had a bad day. But there are a couple of a la carte options, and those are where it gets interesting. Book those *in advance*. Seriously. Don't be like me, showing up hangry at 8 pm to be told they're fully booked. Argh!
And the drinks? Are they as plentiful as they look in the photos?
Oh, the drinks! Yes, there are drinks. And the bar staff? They're definitely skilled. Cocktails are well-made, and the wine selection is decent. But, and it's a small but important but, all-inclusive can mean *some* limitations. Certain premium spirits might cost extra. And, the poolside service? Sometimes a *bit* slow. Be prepared to flag down a waiter, which is admittedly a minor hardship when you're trying to relax, but a hardship nonetheless. I learned to embrace the art of strategic eye contact. And tipping. Tipping always helps.
Let’s talk pools and beaches. Are they as gorgeous as they look online?
The pools? Stunning. Infinity pools galore, perfect for Instagram. The main pool can get a *little* crowded, but there are usually quieter spots to be found. The beach? A short walk away, and a beautiful, sandy cove. However, it's *not* a private beach, so expect some public access. Which means? More people. Still beautiful, though. Remember the sunscreen. I was that lobster-person on day two. Not pretty.
What about the Spa? Is it worth the price?
The Spa? Now *that's* what I'm talking about. Expensive? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely, if you're looking for a proper pamper sesh. The treatments are divine. Seriously, I had the best massage of my life. I almost fell asleep. The facilities are lovely, and the overall vibe is very zen. Go early, arrive at Spa at 9 am, get your complimentary coffee. It’s divine and worth the time.
What's there to *do* besides lie by the pool and eat?
Okay, here's the slightly tricky part. "Escape to Paradise" is more about relaxation than relentless activities. There are some organized activities, like yoga classes (which I *attempted* to join; I am not flexible, FYI), and maybe a cooking demo. Nightly entertainment is… well, it varies. A band one night, a singer the next, and sometimes… nothing. Which is fine, honestly. I was happy to just sit on my balcony with a book and a glass of wine. Protaras itself is a short taxi ride away, with more options for bars and restaurants. Don't expect Vegas-style entertainment, and you won't be disappointed.
Is there anything else to do outside of the resort?
Yes! Protaras has gorgeous beaches, but they are crowded. Outside the resort, you're close to other beaches, like Fig Tree Bay. If you are into history, you can visit the Tombs of the Kings. Or, if getting sweaty doesn't scare you, you can take a boat trip – the sea is beautiful! The main thing is the resort is away from the action, if you don't bother taking the bus to Ayia Napa or Protaras.
How much is it going to cost me? Because luxury comes at a price, right?
Yes, it does. Escape to Paradise isn't cheap. It's a luxury resort, remember?Chicstayst
