Manila Condo Escape: Lee Portum's Relaxing 1-Bedroom Oasis
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the Manila Condo Escape: Lee Portum’s Relaxing 1-Bedroom Oasis. And honey, let me tell you, relaxing is a loaded word, especially when you’re dealing with the urban jungle that is Manila. But let’s see if Mr. Portum's pad lives up to the hype, shall we? This is gonna be a long one, so grab your coffee (or something stronger, no judgment here).
First Impressions (and Let's Get Real, It's All About Accessibility, Baby)
Okay, so I'm not exactly a seasoned wheelchair traveler, but I like to think I'm observant. And hello, we need to talk about accessibility. Right? Right. The listing says "Facilities for disabled guests," which is encouraging, but the devil, as they say, is in the details. Did I personally measure the doorways? No. Did I see ramps? I think so (memory like a sieve, though). This is a potential sticking point. If you require specific accommodations, call. Don't trust the internet blindly, folks. Seriously.
The Nitty Gritty: What You WANT to know (and What You Might Not Care About… But I Will Tell You Anyway)
Let's start with the good stuff. No, scratch that, let's start with the internet. Because in this day and age, if the Wi-Fi is dodgy, I'm outta here faster than you can say "lag."
- Internet Access: Okay, good news! You get Wi-Fi [free] – and supposedly everywhere. That's a win. FREE WIFI IN ALL ROOMS! I mean, it's 2024, but you'd be surprised. There's also that LAN thing, for the serious internet users; I'm assuming it's available. The listing also boasts of "Internet services." So, yeah, internet covered. We're good. I need internet. You need internet. The world needs internet.
- Cleanliness and Safety: Important. The listing bleats a lot of buzzwords: Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, room sanitization opt-out available (good!), rooms sanitized between stays, professional-grade sanitizing services, and staff trained in safety protocol… all the things you hope are happening, right? There’s even “Hygiene certification.” Fine, fine. I need to believe the room is clean. Let's assume it is. (But I'd still wipe down the light switches, just sayin'.)
- Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Okay, let's talk about food. A restaurant of some kind exists. There's an a la carte menu… buffet?! A Western breakfast… Asian cuisine… Desserts. Okay, maybe I'm getting excited. I have a low tolerance for bad breakfast and a high tolerance for dessert. The listing also mentions a coffee shop and a snack bar. And a Poolside bar. (More on that later!)
- Services and Conveniences: Yes, you get the usual suspects. Air conditioning in public areas (a must!), concierge, daily housekeeping (thank the gods!), elevator (thank you!), luggage storage, and a convenience store. Plus laundry service. Thank you. I'm messy.
- For the Kids: Babysitting service. Family-friendly. Kids meal. Okay, not my department, but good to know for those who are wrangling tiny humans.
- Getting Around: Airport transfer (YES!), car park (on-site and free), taxi service. Nice. Saves a bit on the headache of Manila traffic.
The "Relaxing" Factor: Did It Actually Unwind Me?
Here’s where it gets personal, and things get more… colorful. The listing promises relaxation. Is it a zen oasis? Let's see…
- Things to do, ways to relax: Well, there's a lot listed here! Body scrub, body wrap, fitness center, foot bath, Gym/fitness, massage, pool with view, sauna, spa, spa/sauna, steam room, swimming pool, and swimming pool [outdoor]. That's A LOT of potential relaxation.
- The Pool (and the View): Ah, the pool with a view. This is where it gets interesting. I pictured myself, cocktail in hand, gazing at the Manila skyline. The reality? Well, it was a pool, alright. Cleanish. The view? Well, it was there, hidden by some building and a bit of smog, but hey, it was a view. The pool is a thing, so that's a win!
My Anecdote of Glorious Relaxation in 6 bullet points:
- I finally got into the pool!! It was warm and the water was nice.
- I ordered a cocktail (a little pricey, but sometimes life demands a cocktail).
- Someone brought me a tiny umbrella for my drink. (I'm a sucker for tiny umbrellas).
- I sat there and stared at Manila.
- The sun set. It was actually a pretty good sunset.
- I felt, for a brief, glorious moment, relaxed.
The Dark Side of Relaxation (and My Personal Obsessions)
- Room Amenities: Okay, the listing lists everything: Air conditioning, alarm clock, bathrobes, bathroom phone (who uses these anymore?), bathtub, blackout curtains, carpeting, closet, coffee/tea maker, complimentary tea, daily housekeeping, desk, extra-long bed, free bottled water, hair dryer, high floor, in-room safe box, interconnecting room(s) available, internet access – LAN, internet access – wireless, ironing facilities, laptop workspace, linens, mini bar, mirror, non-smoking, on-demand movies, private bathroom, reading light, refrigerator, safety/security feature, satellite/cable channels, scale, seating area, separate shower/bathtub, shower, slippers, smoke detector, socket near the bed, sofa, soundproofing, telephone, toiletries, towels, umbrella, visual alarm, wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], window that opens. That's a lot. I'm particularly delighted by the slippers. Always.
- The Coffee Situation: Okay, this is a must-know for me. The listing says there's a coffee/tea maker. Good. But is the coffee good? This is critical. I would hate to have to leave my room at 6 am. I do remember having, for a small fee, decent coffee in my room.
The Verdict (and My Recommendation)
Look, Manila is intense. It’s a sensory overload. It’s loud. It’s chaotic. Finding somewhere truly relaxing is a challenge.
So, Is Lee Portum’s Oasis a worthwhile escape?
Let's be honest. It is. It's a solid option. Could it be better? Always. But the important bits are there: Cleanish, comfy-ish, with wifi, with a pool, convenient location, and an overall okay experience.
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Here’s my slightly-unhinged recommendation to you:
If you’re looking for a decent place to crash in Manila, with the essentials covered (and a pool to dip your toes in), then Manila Condo Escape: Lee Portum’s Relaxing 1-Bedroom Oasis is worth a look. If you need to be completely pampered, maybe look elsewhere. But for a practical, relatively painless, and somewhat relaxing respite from the Manila madness, it's a good bet.
Now, for the ultimate offer…
Tired of the Manila Mayhem? Escape to Lee Portum's Oasis!
Book now and get:
- Complimentary welcome drink: (Because you deserve it!)
- Early check-in (if possible): (So you can start relaxing sooner.)
- 10% discount on your first spa treatment: (Because, why not?)
- And, more importantly, guaranteed access to the pool AND the opportunity to order a cocktail with a tiny umbrella!
Click here to book your escape! (And tell them I sent you… maybe you’ll get a better room.) (Link to booking site here!)
P.S. Seriously, call and ask about the accessibility if it is important for you.
Richmond Inn & Suites: Your Dream Richmond (IN) Getaway Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this itinerary for my stay at that "Relaxing 1-Bedroom Condo Unit (by Lee Portum)" in Manila? Yeah, it's gonna be a wild ride. And by wild, I mean me, mostly existing somewhere between blissful laziness and existential dread, fueled by instant coffee and the desperate hope that the air conditioning doesn't die.
The Manila Meander: A Condo-Dweller's Diary
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Air Con Question
Morning (or, "Whenever I Finally Wake Up"): Arrived at NAIA. The airport, as always, was a symphony of hustle and heat. Managed to haggle (poorly) for a Grab car. Manila traffic…it’s a character. I swear I aged five years just getting to the condo.
Afternoon: The Promised Land (and Air Conditioning Anxiety): Finally! Reached the condo. It looked exactly like the pictures! Sleek, modern, slightly… sterile? Lee Portum, with his impeccable taste, clearly hadn't factored in the chaotic, humid, glorious MESS that is Manila. First order of business: AIR CONDITIONING CHECK. Please, PLEASE let it be working. (Spoiler: it was, but there was that whisper of a possible leak. My anxiety levels hit DEFCON 3.)
Late Afternoon/Evening: The Fridge Raid & Netflix Guilt: The fridge was embarrassingly empty. I scurried out to a nearby 7-Eleven (the Filipino food groups: instant noodles, biscuits, and ice-cold bottled water). Came back, ate my weight in junk food, and promptly sank into the sofa. Netflix beckoned. "Just one episode," I told myself. (Said episode turned into four with no regrets -- a guilty pleasure.)
Evening's Conclusion: The Manila Rooftop: Lee talks up a rooftop. The condo's one? I've been there, at last. The view was… spectacular. Manila at dusk is a breathtaking mess of neon and twilight. Found a small, plastic chair, watched the city lights dance, and tried to ignore the nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something important. (Probably sunscreen.)
Day 2: Culture Shock & Karaoke Catastrophe
Morning: The Coffee Crisis: The instant coffee provided? Utterly unpalatable. Forced myself to drink it, anyway. It's fuel, goddamnit. Had to wander the streets for a real coffee. The first cup of coffee I had was very strong and I am very caffeinated.
Mid-Morning: The Quiapo Market Pilgrimage (with a Side of "Oh My God, My Senses!"): Decided to be "cultural." So, I went to Quiapo. Okay, maybe I survived Quiapo. The smells…the people…the absolute sensory overload. I was genuinely overwhelmed. Felt a little bit lost, a little bit amazed, and a whole lot grateful for my (now-questionable) immune system. Bought a weird fruit I didn't recognize. Ate it. Immediately regretted it. (Lesson learned: Stick to the 7-Eleven.)
Afternoon: Karaoke Nightmares and Neon Lights: My friend is a karaoke king, dragged me to a karaoke bar in the evening. I am not a singer. I am a tone-deaf, rhythm-challenged, horrifically shy karaoke victim. The entire experience was a chaotic, glorious disaster. I sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" (badly) and spent the rest of the night hiding under the table, fueled by overpriced San Miguel and sheer terror. Somehow, it was also… brilliant? The energy, the passion, the way everyone just didn't care that I sounded like a dying cat… It was authentically Filipino.
Late Night: Stumbled back to the condo, smelling of smoke machine and regret. Instantly collapsed into bed. Pretty sure I could hear my eardrums singing with the phantom strains of "Don't Stop Believin'."
Day 3: Redemption & a Very Serious Search for Adobo
Morning: The Comfort of Clean Sheets (and the Unshakeable Feeling of Thirst): Woke up feeling like a zombie. The sheets at the condo were ridiculously comfy. Spent an embarrassing amount of time just existing in bed, postponing the inevitable.
Mid-Morning: The Adobo Quest (Part 1: Failed): Developed an URGENT craving for adobo. This is serious. This is life and death. So, I searched everywhere for the best adobo in town. Checked out a number of restaurants that Lee recommended on his blog (which I found online, thanks to the condo's questionable wifi). All were either closed, out of adobo, or just… disappointing.
Afternoon: The Adobo Quest (Part 2: Success?): Wandered around again until I found this tiny, nondescript carinderia on a side street. The place was nearly empty. The food? The Adobo? OMG. It was the best Adobo I've ever had. Tender pork, a rich, perfect sauce, and enough rice to feed a small army. Sat there, basically, and ate in a blissful carbohydrate-induced coma.
Late Afternoon: Went to the Condo's pool, which was nice. It wasn't spectacular nor extraordinary, but just nice.
Evening: Last Night in Manila: Just…relaxed. The condo, finally, felt like a home. Watched the city lights twinkle from the balcony, enjoying the silence, that is a respite from the noise of the outside world. Ate a package of instant noodles with a sad smile. Tomorrow, reality.
Day 4: Departure & The Great Air Con Farewell
Morning: Woke up, again, with a crippling fear that I'd missed something important. Found a little note on the condo's fridge with a reminder to check out. Decided to drink a final cup of that awful instant coffee. (Didn't want to waste it.)
Mid-Morning: Packed. Cleaned. Said a silent prayer that the air conditioning held out till the end. (It did!)
Afternoon: Checked out. Thanked the condo Gods the air con held out. Grab car to the airport. Manila traffic just seemed less… daunting this time. Maybe I'm finally acclimatizing?
Final Thoughts: The Farewell Rambles: Leaving Manila. The trip was a rollercoaster. The condo, with all its quirks, was a sanctuary. Manila, in all of its chaotic, beautiful messiness, burrowed its way into my soul. Would I come back? Absolutely. Would I demand they upgrade the coffee situation? You bet your sweet bippy.
This is Manila. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always easy, but it’s always, ALWAYS, an experience. And as for that condo, thanks for the stay, Lee Portum. You got me through, even if it was just by the skin of my teeth. Maybe next time, though, invest in a good coffee machine. Just saying.
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