Indonesian Paradise Found: Rumah Mertua Cottage Awaits!
Indonesian Paradise Found: Rumah Mertua Cottage Awaits! My Totally Unfiltered Rant (and Ravings!)
Alright folks, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from Rumah Mertua Cottage, and let me tell you, my brain is still marinating in frangipani and questionable decisions (mostly mine). This isn't some sterile, corporate review. This is real. Think of it as your pre-trip therapy session, minus the shrink and plus, you know, me.
First Impressions: The Accessibility Antics
So, accessibility. Let's be honest, Bali is… Bali. Beautiful, yes. Wheelchair-friendly? Err, less so. Rumah Mertua… well, they try. Facilities for disabled guests is listed, which is a good start. I saw an elevator, thank the gods, 'cause those stairs look long. But honestly? The real test of accessibility is always the bathroom. I'm not personally testing the facilities for disabled guests, but I poked around and didn't see any grab bars in the one I snooped on…(hey, don't judge me. I’m nosy).
Internet Shenanigans (and Glorious Wi-Fi!)
Okay, the Internet situation. Crucial, right? Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! You can also get Internet [LAN] if you're bringing your ancient modem. It's the 21st century, people! Embrace the Wi-Fi. I’m not even sure you can find a LAN cable! This thing actually works. The speed didn't exactly rival the Large Hadron Collider, but it kept me connected to my life-destroying social media feeds. And hey, there’s Wi-Fi in public areas. I think. I mostly wanted to be IN my room surfing, in my pajamas.
The Pampering Paradise: Spa, Sauna, and the Sheer Bliss of Doing Absolutely Nothing
Okay, LISTEN UP. The spa. This is where things get… delicious. I opted for the Body scrub and a Massage – the kind that leaves you feeling like a noodle. The Spa/sauna combo? HEAVENLY. Pure, unadulterated indulgence. I may or may not have accidentally fallen asleep during my Body wrap. Don't judge. It was… relaxing. There’s even a Pool with view. Because, you know, just relaxing isn’t quite enough. I didn’t even check the Sauna or Steamroom. Time is fleeting.
Things to Do (Besides, You Know, DOING NOTHING)
The Fitness center? I bravely glanced in. My gym membership clearly doesn't extend to the equator. I got a Foot bath, though. Because, well, I walk. There is a Swimming pool [outdoor] and a Swimming pool! That's a win-win! I spent a lot of time in it, doing nothing. Seriously, sometimes the best thing is just… being.
Cleanliness and Safety: Because We're Living in a Post-Apocalyptic World (kinda)
The dreaded C-word. COVID. Rumah Mertua gets MAJOR points for their efforts. A Anti-viral cleaning products are used. Hygiene certification is displayed. Daily disinfection in common areas is happening. They had more Hand sanitizer than a hospital waiting room (which, in my book, is a good thing). I noticed the rooms sanitized between stays and there was a Room sanitization opt-out available. Daily housekeeping. They also utilize Professional-grade sanitizing services. It felt genuinely safe, which is, frankly, necessary these days. The Staff trained in safety protocol really showed, you can tell they were working hard. They even provide Individually-wrapped food options and a Safe dining setup. I liked the Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. I think that might be helpful.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Food-Related Disaster)
The Restaurants… Oh, the restaurants. Food is crucial. I'm a gourmand, a food-hound, a human garbage disposal with a discerning palate. Well, kind of. There’s an Asian breakfast! A Western breakfast! Buffet in restaurant options! A la carte in restaurant! Lunch! Dinner! I ate everything. Seriously. I ate so much food. The Asian cuisine in restaurant was, naturally, divine. The International cuisine in restaurant can be good, I got a Salad in restaurant which was rather unappetizing, but hey, it's Bali! The Bar had a Happy hour that was…a bit too happy, if you know what I mean. The Poolside bar? Essential. You need that Bottle of water, trust me. There's a Coffee shop, and the Coffee/tea in restaurant situation was solid. I didn’t get the Breakfast takeaway service, because, well, I wanted to see the world. They even have a Vegetarian restaurant.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Culinary Adventure (Mostly)
My only issue? A rogue plate of… something… that I thought was a soup but turned out to be… well, let’s just say it was an experience. Turns out, I don't like Soup in restaurant. There were also Desserts in restaurant, which was fantastic. There is a Snack bar. If you’re feeling faint. I will say that it provides a Breakfast [buffet]. I preferred the Breakfast service.
Services and Conveniences: The Perks and the Quirks
The Air conditioning in public area? Necessary. The Air conditioning in my room? Also, necessary. Can't live without it. The Concierge was super helpful. The Cash withdrawal? Essential. There is the Convenience store, which is clutch when you run out of the essentials (like, say, Diet Coke). The Currency exchange was easy. I got the Daily housekeeping, thank god. I don't think I could live in the mess I normally make. The Dry cleaning and the Laundry service were lifesavers. I needed the Ironing service. I'm a messy traveller. I got a Food delivery. I got the Luggage storage. It’s a good thing. There is a Safety deposit boxes. Taxi service is available. The Doorman was friendly. They provided an Invoice provided to settle up. I didn't use the Elevator, but I know it was there.
Roomy Room Rundown: Your Humble Abode
My Room: A goddamn sanctuary. This is where you spend all of your time! Air conditioning (yes!), the Additional toilet (bliss!), the Alarm clock (thank you, whoever thought of that), the Bathrobes (YES!), the Bathtub (yes!). Bed. A giant, comfy cocoon that swallowed me nightly. The Blackout curtains. My GOD, I needed those. The Closet. I needed that too. A coffee/tea maker. (I drank a lot.) A Complimentary tea was left for me. A Desk to work on. Free bottled water! Thank the gods. A Hair dryer! High floor! In-room safe box! Mirror. Not a crooked one, thank god. Private bathroom! Reading light! I had a Refrigerator in the room! Satellite/cable channels! It had a Seating area, and a Shower, And I had Slippers to wear. The Smoke detector worked, too. Also a Socket near the bed! Yes! A Sofa! Soundproofing, a Toiletries set out for me, Towels! I even got an Umbrella! The Wake-up service. Wi-Fi [free], and a Window that opens. I think that's everything.
For the Kids (and the Inner Kid in All of Us)
Family/child friendly? Yes! I saw kids running around, and nobody seemed to be too annoyed. There are Kids meal options. Don’t have kids, so I'm not the expert, but it looked good. There’s also a Babysitting service! Probably a lifesaver for parents.
Getting Around: The Island Life
Airport transfer? YES. Book it. Trust me. They also provided Bicycle parking. There is also a Car park [free of charge]! And did I see a Car power charging station?
A Little More About the Property
There is a CCTV in common areas, so don’t do anything stupid. They also have CCTV outside property. Okay. Check-in/out [express]. Check-in/out [private]. A Couple's room! Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher. There is a Front desk [24-hour]! Hotel chain! **Non
Northampton Dream Home: Your Perfect ❤️ Escape Awaits! 🏡
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't just a travel itinerary, it's a goddamn archaeological dig into my soul, conducted from the humid depths of Rumah Mertua Cottage in Sumberagung, Indonesia. Expect less "precise planning" and more "winging it with a healthy dose of existential dread and an overwhelming urge for fried bananas."
Rumah Mertua Cottage: The Chaotic Pilgrimage
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of the Rice Paddies
- Morning (like, sunrise-ish): ARRIVAL! After a flight from… well, let's just say a place that had a distinct lack of volcanic ash. The airport chaos? Forget about it. My luggage? Hopefully, it'll turn up eventually. Now, here I am. Rumah Mertua Cottage. Looks idyllic on the website, right? Turns out, idyllic also means remotely and hot.
- Mid-morning: Finally, settled (kind of). The cottage is… charming. In a, "my grandmother's attic where cobwebs are considered interior design" kind of way. The air conditioning is bravely fighting a losing battle against the Indonesian steam room that is Sumberagung. The rice paddies are gorgeous. Like, seriously, picture postcard stuff. But… they also whisper. I swear, all that green rustling is the universe reminding me of my pending deadline.
- Noon: (Oh God, Lunch): The food! Okay, the food is a saving grace. Nasi Goreng (fried rice) is the cure. The coconut water is heavenly, and the fish. So good. I think I ate way too much.
- Afternoon: Stumbled upon a little warung (local eatery/shop). Ordered coffee. The coffee? The coffee was… intense. Like, could-power-a-small-nation-through-a-blackout intense. I then spent an embarrassing amount of time sweating buckets in a futile attempt to find the courage to talk to the owners.
- Evening: "Evening!" (I use the quotation marks because it's still bloody hot). Watched the sunset over the rice paddies. It was… breathtaking. And then, a mosquito landed on my arm. I swear, these little bloodthirsty demons are going to be the death of me. Later, I tried to read but eventually gave up. It was too hot. And I was too tired. This travel life is hard work. Bed.
Day 2: The Monkey Forest Meltdown (And a Religious Revelation. Maybe.)
- Morning (the real-deal sunrise): Decide to take my camera out on the first day to capture the beauty. The best view? Forget about it. A monkey stole my banana. It felt like a personal affront. This experience made me question everything. Why was I so attached to this banana? What does it all mean? Is this jungle karma?
- Mid-Morning: Hike. Hike is probably far too strong a word. Stumbled into the nearby Monkey Forest. Here, I spent a good hour being utterly terrified of monkeys. They're cute. Until they're not. Then they become terrifying little bandits with questionable intentions. One tried to steal my earring. I let him have it. Mental note: invest in cheap earrings.
- Noon (Lunch part 2): Ordered the same lunch as yesterday. It was good. It was an oasis in a world where the air conditioning is on a low and it feels like it is always raining.
- Afternoon: Spent an hour desperately trying to take a decent picture. The perfect shot! Is it possible? The picture might be good, but my brain, and the monkeys, are a different story.
- Evening: Spent an hour sitting in the cottage, feeling guilty for not doing anything, then going to bed.
Day 3: The Waterfall of Tears (or, the One Where I Almost Died From Amazingness)
- Morning: Okay, today is the day. I'm going to conquer the waterfall. I'm going to be one with nature. I'm going to achieve inner peace.
- Mid-Morning: The waterfall is… incredible. Seriously, words fail. The water is icy cold. The spray is like thousand tiny diamonds. I was the first person to get to this place in history. The jungle feels ancient.
- Noon: I am the second person to get to this place. The first one left me there for a while. The food is good. The water is good. I need to go back.
- Afternoon: Back at the cottage. Taking notes. The jungle is a beautiful place, but it is also a place that can be dangerous. The bugs bite. The plants try to scratch you. But most importantly. The food is good.
- Evening: I'm going to go get some sleep. I don't know when I'm going back to the waterfall.
Day 4: The Goodbye (And the Promise of More Banana-Based Trauma)
- Morning: The last day? How is this possible? I've done nothing. And everything. I'm leaving this place better, right?
- Mid-Morning: Packing is a disaster. I swear, I brought way too many clothes. At least I'm not sweating buckets anymore. Maybe my body has finally adjusted to the humidity. Or maybe it's just given up the struggle.
- Noon: The food! At least the food will be good.
- Afternoon: Saying goodbye to Rumah Mertua. It's been… an experience. A beautiful, frustrating, chaotic, monkey-infested experience.
- Evening: Departure. The journey back to reality begins. I'm exhausted. I'm exhilarated. And I'm already planning my return. Next time, I'm bringing a banana defense system. And maybe, just maybe, I'll finally learn to talk to the locals without blushing like a tomato.
Important Notes (Because, Seriously, This is Not a Professional Travel Guide):
- Food: Eat everything. Try everything. Just… maybe pack some Immodium.
- Mosquitos: They are relentless. Stock up on the strongest repellent you can find. And maybe invest in a full-body suit.
- Pacing: Don't over plan. Let yourself get lost. Let yourself be surprised. And don't be afraid to just… sit and stare at the rice paddies.
- Emotions: Expect them. Embrace them. Let yourself feel the joy, the frustration, the terror of the monkeys stealing your possessions. It's all part of the experience.
This is my truth. And honestly, it's probably the most accurate travel itinerary you'll ever read. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a strong cup of coffee and a banana. I have a feeling the monkeys are already plotting my downfall.
And for god sakes, be safe. Don't trust the monkeys.
Shanghai's Hidden Gem: Gucun Park Getaway at Green Tree Inn!
Indonesian Paradise Found: Rumah Mertua Cottage Awaits! - Ask Me Anything (Seriously, Anything!)
Okay, spill. Is this place *actually* paradise? Or just Instagram-pretty lies?
Alright, alright, let's get real. Paradise? Look, I've been to a few places that *claimed* to be paradise, and frankly, some delivered on the promise, some... well, let's just say they were aggressively mediocre. Rumah Mertua Cottage? It comes *close*. Think sun-drenched mornings where the only sound is the gentle clinking of your coffee cup against the saucer. Think evenings where the stars blaze so brightly you feel like you can reach out and touch them. Think... that first Bintang beer after a long flight. *That's* paradise-adjacent.
Look, it has its quirks. The internet? Spotty. The shower pressure? Sometimes it feels like you're being sprinkled by a particularly polite fairy. And the gecko situation? Oh dear god, the geckos. They're everywhere. They're cute, I guess, but they also make this little clicking noise all night long that drives you slightly mad. So, not *perfect* paradise. But pretty damn close. And honestly, the little imperfections just make it feel more... real, you know? Less like a manufactured experience.
What's the food like? I'm a picky eater. (And by picky, I mean I breathe heavily around coriander.)
Oh, the food. This is where things get interesting. Generally, AMAZING. Indonesian food is seriously some of the best on the planet. But picky eaters... *deep sigh*. Look, let's tackle this.
Firstly, they ARE accommodating. They know tourists. They've dealt with worse. Second, communication is KEY. Learn the Indonesian for "no coriander" – trust me. And maybe, just *maybe*, bring your own jar of peanut butter. (Just kidding... mostly).
My BEST meal? Okay, so picture this: I was feeling a little under the weather, maybe too much sun, maybe one too many Bintangs. The owner, bless his heart, noticed and made me the most incredible chicken soup. Seriously, straight to the soul. Broth so clear, so flavorful, so... nurturing. I think I could have cried. It wasn't on the menu. It was pure, unadulterated kindness. That's what I mean by "paradise."
On the other hand… one night, I ordered something that *claimed* to be grilled fish. What arrived was… well, let's call it aggressively grilled. It tasted like it had been left on the grill for approximately a week. A small, oily, charcoal-flavored week. I politely ate it, feeling like a champion of culinary resilience. Again, *real*.
Transportation – how easy is it to get around? Do I need to drive a scooter? (I am terrified.)
Okay, scooter talk. Listen, if you're terrified of scooters, *don't force it*. Seriously. The roads can be... spirited. There's a certain *laissez-faire* attitude towards traffic laws that you'll need to get used to. If four-wheel-wheeled transport are your thing... hire a driver. They are relatively cheap and will navigate you through the chaos calmly.
I, being slightly adventurous and mostly stupid – actually, I’ll rephrase that, I’m slightly adventurous and I embrace risk (sometimes) – tried to learn to drive a scooter. Let's just say my skills are still… developing. There was one incident involving a chicken and a very loud exhaust pipe. And my dignity. Mostly my dignity survived. So, stick to a driver. Saves the stress, and the potential for international embarrassment.
What's a typical day look like? Give me a rundown.
Alright, a typical day at Rumah Mertua Cottage... It's a delicious blend of relaxation and... well, whatever you want it to be. Mine? I'll tell you mine.
Sunrise hits the bamboo blinds at some ungodly hour... 6 am? Maybe earlier? I usually roll over, grumble, and pull the covers over my head. But the smell of fresh-brewed Indonesian kopi (coffee) wafts in, a siren song. So, I drag myself out of bed.
First, coffee on the porch. Then, a swim in the pool. (The pool is a *must*). It's cool, refreshing, and usually completely empty. Pure bliss.
Breakfast? Always a feast. Fresh fruit, nasi goreng (fried rice), maybe some pancakes. Then, depending on my mood... A massage? A trip to the beach? Reading under a shady tree? Or maybe, just maybe, I'd spend the day doing absolutely *nothing*. And you know what? That's perfectly acceptable. In fact, it's encouraged.
The afternoons? Sunset drinks on the beach (essential). Dinner somewhere awesome. And evening? Well, that depends on how many Bintangs I've had. Sometimes, it involves stargazing. Sometimes it involves accidentally falling asleep at 8pm. It's a mystery, honestly. But a good one.
How's the vibe? Is it full of loud tourists, or is it more chill?
The vibe? It's definitely chill. I mean, some people have different expectations for this.
Rumah Mertua Cottage isn't exactly a party haven. It's more about quiet enjoyment, which is exactly why I loved it. You'll meet other travelers, absolutely! But they're mostly the kind who appreciate peace and quiet, sunsets, and a good book.
I remember one evening, I was sitting on my porch – and let me tell you, the porch situation is supreme – sipping a tea. There was a couple, maybe in their late 60s, playing cards and just laughing. No loud music, no drunken antics... just pure contentment. That's the vibe. Contentment. With a side of gecko clicking.
What should I pack? (Besides my sanity. I'm working on that.)
Ah, the packing panic! Alright, here's the essentials, and then a few more... because.
**Absolutely Essential:**
* Light, breathable clothing (linen is your friend).
* Swimsuits (duh).
* Sunscreen – HIGH SPF. That sun is INTENSE.
* Bug spray. The mosquitos are hungry.
* A hat. Because sunstroke is no fun.
* Flip-flops (of course)
* Reusable water bottle (stay hydrated!).
* A good book (or three)
**Nice to Haves:**
* A small flashlight or headlamp (power outages happen).
* A waterproof bag for electronics.Snooze And Stay
