Kerala's Hidden Gem: The Oval House (Kochi's BEST Kept Secret!)
The Oval House: Kochi's Best Kept Secret? (Spoiler Alert: Probably!) - A Brutally Honest Review
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm fresh off a stay at The Oval House in Kochi, and let me tell you, it was… an experience. Not everything was perfect, but hey, nobody is. This isn't a sterile, PR-vetted review; it's raw, real, and maybe a little too honest. Consider this your head's up.
First Impressions (and a Near-Disaster with a Coconut!):
Finding The Oval House is part of the adventure, honestly. It's tucked away, which already screams "hidden gem," right? But let's be real: the taxi driver looked completely lost. Finally, we arrived, and the building itself is gorgeous – a colonial-era residence with a modern twist. It’s immediately clear that The Oval House is trying hard to be stylish. Now, the entrance! I swear, I almost got taken out by a falling coconut. There's a majestic, ancient coconut tree right by the entrance. It was… a moment. Thankfully, no head injuries, just a healthy dose of adrenaline and a reminder that life, and this review, is unpredictable.
Accessibility & Safety: The Essentials (and a Sigh of Relief):
Alright, serious time. Accessibility is decent. They have an elevator (praise the travel gods!), which is HUGE. Facilities for disabled guests are mentioned, but I couldn’t personally verify the extent of their accommodations. (More detail about this would have been helpful.) Good to know though.
Cleanliness & Safety (And My Obsessive Hand Sanitizer Habit):
Okay, so, the Anti-viral cleaning products? Felt the vibe. The Daily disinfection in common areas? Noticed! Hand sanitizer stations were everywhere, making my germaphobic heart sing. The Rooms sanitized between stays and the Room sanitization opt-out available options were reassuring. I even saw the staff using Professional-grade sanitizing services. They’re serious about cleanliness, and that's a HUGE win, especially in these times. They offer the usual suspects as well, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Fire extinguisher. And the Staff trained in safety protocol were friendly and helpful, which always helps.
Internet & Tech (Bless the Wi-Fi Gods!):
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! The speed was pretty solid, allowing me to upload all my ridiculously long videos of the surrounding area. You also get Internet access – LAN.
Rooms: The Good, The Bad, and the "Where’s My Remote?!":
The rooms themselves are well-appointed. The Additional toilet in my room was a stroke of genius for late-night bathroom trips. Air conditioning? On point. Blackout curtains saved me from the Kochi sun's aggressive morning kiss. Complimentary tea, Free bottled water, and the Coffee/tea maker were appreciated. The bathroom was a decent size and the bathrobes were ridiculously comfortable!
Now for my few minor critiques. The TV remote was like a mythical creature, disappearing into the labyrinthine depths of the room at will. Eventually, I found it… under a pillow. And the satellite/cable channels selection could use a little update. Overall? Comfy, but not perfect.
Dining: A Feast for the Senses (and My Stomach):
The Oval House scores BIG on food. Seriously. Let's break it down.
Restaurants: You've got options. The main restaurant has a lovely atmosphere.
Breakfast: Asian breakfast, Western breakfast and Breakfast [buffet] were fantastic. The Breakfast takeaway service is a nice touch!
Lunch/Dinner: I loved the A la carte in restaurant options - but I wish there was more variety. The Vegetarian restaurant was a hit with my sister.
Drinks: Ah, the Poolside bar! This is where I spent a significant portion of my time. A perfect place to have Happy hour and watch the sunset.
Other: Coffee shop was my lifeline for caffeine.
I'm a huge fan of a good salad and the options here were delightful. And the Desserts in restaurant – well, let's just say my willpower took a vacation.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa, Spa, Spa! (And a Pool with a View):
This is where The Oval House really shines. The Spa is incredible.
- Spa Goodies: The Foot bath was the perfect way to decompress. The Sauna and Steamroom were heavenly.
- Massages: I had not one, but TWO massages. (Don't judge me; I was stressed.) They were pure bliss. I'm still dreaming about the massage oil.
- Swimming: The Swimming pool is stunning. The Pool with view? Even better. It's truly the perfect place to unwind.
- Fitness: I am not really a fitness person, but the Fitness center seemed to be well-equipped.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter (and the Luggage Storage Surprise):
The Concierge was incredibly helpful, offering recommendations and making (apparently) easy booking arrangements. I was also impressed with the Currency exchange and the Cash withdrawal.
- They offer Daily housekeeping, which is standard but always appreciated, and the Laundry service was fast and efficient.
- The Luggage storage was super handy.
- Meeting/banquet facilities are available.
For the Kids, or the Kid in You:
While I didn't travel with children, I did notice the Babysitting service.
Getting Around & Parking: Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy:
Airport transfer? Seamless. Car park [free of charge]? Score! Taxi service available too.
My Final Verdict & A Killer Offer:
The Oval House isn't perfect, it's an experience. A beautiful one, with a few minor quirks. There were some minor flaws, such as a slightly outdated TV, and on a small scale, but overall it was amazing. Its emphasis on safety and cleanliness. And the spa…oh, the spa! If you're looking for a stylish, relaxing getaway in Kochi, with incredible food and service, and a few hidden gems of its own, then I highly recommend The Oval House. It’s a unique property that caters to both the luxury and the budget traveler.
Here's what you need to do:
Book your stay NOW using code "KOCHISECRET" and receive:
- 15% off your room rate
- A complimentary welcome drink (or two!) at the Poolside Bar
- A free relaxing massage for two at the spa.
This offer is valid for all bookings made before [insert date] so don't miss out! And trust me, you won’t regret it. Get ready to uncover Kochi's BEST kept secret! You'll thank me later (and maybe send me a coconut).
Kyeongju Getaway: Stunning Hue Pension Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your average, sterile travel itinerary. This is my foray into The Oval House in Kochi, and trust me, it's gonna be a ride. Approved by Kerala Tourism? Probably not this version, but whatever. Let’s do this.
Day 1: Kochi Kickoff & "Oh God, Is That Really Breakfast?"
Morning (7:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Arrival & The Great Breakfast Panic of '24
- Landing. Ugh, planes. Always a bit of a sweaty, cramped lottery. Kochi airport was thankfully less chaotic than I expected. Grabbed a rickety taxi (the driver looked like he'd seen some things) and finally rolled up to The Oval House. It’s… charming. Actually, it’s kind of stunning. Those Kerala houses seriously got something going on, beautiful. The air smells of… well, I’m not sure yet. Spice, maybe? Excitement? Indigestion waiting to happen? We'll see.
- Check-in. Smooth enough, considering I'm a chronic over-packer and my backpack exploded a bit in the lobby. Lovely staff, all smiles and saris, which immediately made me feel like an underdressed tourist.
- The Breakfast Disaster: Okay, this deserves its own paragraph. I was hangry. I ordered the Kerala breakfast, enthusiastically. I pictured fluffy idlis, flavorful curries… WHAT CAME WAS… well, let’s just say it involved a small, suspicious puddle of something oily and an alarming number of unfamiliar spices. I tried it. I really did. My face probably resembled a confused chihuahua. Took a valiant three bites before discreetly abandoning ship. I'm not judging, it's just my gut was like, "Nope." Note to self: stick to toast for a day or two.
Mid-day (10:00 AM - 2:00 PM): Fort Kochi Rambles & the Problem with Maps
- Finally fueled by… a banana. Headed out to explore Fort Kochi. The architecture is gorgeous. Seriously, the Portuguese, Dutch, and British influences clash in the best possible way. Wandered around aimlessly, which is my preferred method of travel.
- The Map Mayhem: Got a "helpful" map from the hotel. Turns out, it was a beautifully illustrated piece of fiction. Got completely lost. Twice. Ended up wandering down a tiny alleyway and stumbled upon a hidden spice market. Success! The smell was intoxicating. I bought enough cardamom to perfume my entire luggage.
- Lunch: Found a cute little cafe. Samosas were divine. Almost made up for the breakfast fiasco. Almost.
Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Chinese Fishing Nets, Sunset & Existential Dread
- The Nets & the Tears: The Chinese fishing nets are iconic. Watched the fishermen haul them in. It’s… mesmerizing. A tiny part of me wanted to weep with pure appreciation. The other part, the cynical part, was busy wondering how much it would cost to buy one as a ridiculously impractical souvenir.
- Sunset watching on the beach. Beautiful, of course. But it also made me realize how far I was from home, which triggered a minor existential crisis. Is this what true freedom felt like? Maybe a little too much for the first day.
- Dinner at a seafood shack. Fresh fish grilled to perfection. Solved the existential dread problem with a generous helping of prawns and a cold beer.
Evening (5:00 PM - onwards): Back at the Oval House, Writing this
- Back at the Oval House. Already feeling attached to my room, those Kerala houses seriously got something going on. Wrote this insane day's diary. Day 2: Kathakali & The Great Coconut Oil Debacle
Morning (8:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Kathakali Unravelling & The Makeup Madness
- Woke up. Feeling slightly less lost. (Good start.)
- Kathakali - A Sensory Overload (In the Best Way): Booked a Kathakali performance – the traditional dance-drama. The makeup process was fascinating. These guys were patient, and the transformation into these vibrant creatures was art. The performance itself? Intense. Loud drums, dramatic gestures, and stories I didn't quite understand. But the energy was undeniable. It was like Bollywood and opera had a baby and then fed it Red Bull.
- Breakfast: Successfully conquered the toast. Victory!
Mid-day (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Mattancherry Market and Spice Bazaar
- Ventured into Mattancherry. The market was a sensory explosion: spices piled high, the aroma of fresh ginger hit me like a wave, and the chatter of vendors.
- Managed not to buy a whole elephant. Although, I considered it for a moment.
- The Spice Shopping Spree: Bought more spices. (Obsessed.) The vendors were all incredibly friendly, and I haggled like a pro (or at least, I thought I haggled like a pro).
Afternoon (3:00 PM - 6:00 PM): The Coconut Oil Incident
- Went back to the hotel to cool off. The humidity has me melting.
- The Coconut Oil Catastrophe: Saw some coconut oil in the gift shop. Heard it was good for your skin. Bought a bottle. Opened it. It exploded. Everywhere. In my hair, my clothes, the floor… I smelled like a tropical dessert. Spent the next hour furiously scrubbing – much to the amusement of the staff. Note to self: Read labels before opening.
Evening (6:00 PM - onwards): More Seafood & Reflection
- Dinner at a different restaurant, tried more Keralan dishes.
- Looking at my notes on this incredible experience, I'm starting to understand why people fall in love with this place. Even with the occasional breakfast trauma and coconut oil explosions.
- Tomorrow? House Boat Trip! Day 3: Houseboat & Back to the Real World (Or Not?)
Morning (7:00 AM - 10:00 AM): The Houseboat Departure and the Mosquito Armada
- Woke up early, slightly hungover from the excellent restaurant food.
- Taxi pick-up to the Alleppey Boat House, which was surprisingly a smooth trip. It was time for the houseboat adventure! The driver was kind and helpful, and I was on my way with a slight smile.
- The Mosquito Siege: The backwaters are beautiful, but… the mosquitos. They were relentless. I swear, there were squadrons of them. My repellent was woefully inadequate. I looked like a walking buffet.
Mid-day (10:00 AM - 2:00 PM): Backwater Bliss & The Food (FINALLY) Gets Good
The scenery on the houseboat was incredible! Lush green, and the water was calm.
- The Food that Redeemed All: The food on the houseboat? Absolutely phenomenal. Fresh fish, curries bursting with flavour. It was a total redemption from the breakfast of day one. I ate so much, I was physically uncomfortable. But gloriously so.
Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): The Sunset and the realization that I will Never Leave
- Sunset on the houseboat. Breathtaking. Watching the sky turn fiery red and gold over the backwaters made my eyes water a bit. I'm pretty sure it was tears of pure happiness and because of the mosquito bites.
- The Ultimate Decision: Okay, I was ready to sell all my belongings and become a houseboat hermit. I'm done with the old life.
- The boat ride was done, and I was back in a taxi to the airport.
Evening (5:00 PM - onwards): Farewell Kochi. For Now.
- Goodbye Kochi! Until next time.
So, there you have it. My chaotic, imperfect, and utterly unforgettable trip to The Oval House and Kochi. It wasn't always pretty, but it was real. And that’s what matters, right? Now to get back home, covered in cardamom and mosquito bites, but with a heart full of memories.
Escape to Paradise: Hill 'N' You's Luxurious Mount Abu Retreat
So, what *is* this all about anyway? Is this some kind of life-altering philosophy gig?
Alright, deep breaths. No, I'm not trying to sell you enlightenment or a particularly overpriced yoga mat. Basically, we're just gonna try to answer some burning questions... or at least, the ones *I* have. Look, I'm not always great at *explaining* things, but I'm *phenomenal* at overthinking them. This is my comfort zone. So, bear with me here. Think of this less like a well-organized Q&A and more like... well, my brain on a bad day, hopefully offering some helpful nuggets along the way.
Okay... Specifics, please! Like, what ARE the actual *topics* here? Is this about… puppies? Because, you know, I love puppies.
Puppies, while adorable, are sadly not the main focus. Though, a *brief* puppy interlude is never out of the question. No, this is more… well, it's about... how do I even *describe* it? It's about the stuff that keeps me up at 3 AM, staring at the ceiling fan, convinced it's mocking me. The joys, the sorrows, the utter WTF moments of, you know, *being*. It could cover everything, from the best way to make a grilled cheese (crucial) to why my cat judges my life choices (also crucial). We'll dive into relationships, career, self-doubt, maybe even the meaning of a dirty sock. The possibilities are... terrifyingly vast. Probably.
Are you, like, qualified to talk about any of this? Credentials? Diplomas? Something?
Ha! Qualified? Honey, if overthinking life and making a spectacular mess of things were a degree, *I'd* have a PhD. Seriously, I have absolutely no formal qualifications whatsoever. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I'm just a person, rambling on, pretending to have a clue. But, hey, sometimes the best advice comes from those who are equally lost, right? It’s like… imagine two ships wrecked at sea, offering each other navigation tips. That's us. We're in the same boat… or rather, the same *sinking* boat.
Okay, I'm starting to get the vibe. So, what if I disagree with you? Am I going to get canceled?
Oh, please, disagree! Disagreement is the spice of life (and the fuel for my ego, if I'm being honest). Constructive criticism? Bring it on! Toxic trolls? Well, I'm probably not equipped to deal with that… I'll probably just curl up into a ball and cry. But seriously, I crave discussion. I want to hear your experiences, your perspectives. This isn't a dictatorship, it’s a… slightly chaotic support group. So, speak your mind! Unless you start talking trash about my grilled cheese recipe. Then we're going to have problems.
What if I have a question that's not covered here? Can I bombard you with questions?
Absolutely! My inbox is open… although I can’t promise I'll respond instantly. I'm a master procrastinator, y'know? Sometimes I'll be like, "Yes, YES! I will answer this question right now!" and then… BAM! Shiny object. Squirrel! But ask away! The more questions, the merrier. And, honestly, the more fuel for my already overactive brain. Let's tackle the big existential stuff and maybe even figure out what to have for dinner. (Currently leaning towards pizza, just saying.)
So, let's say… relationships. What's your take on *those*? You sound like you've been through a thing or two.
Ah, relationships. Where do I even *begin*? Okay, here's a story. I once dated a guy who, and I swear this is true, collected rubber ducks. *Rubber ducks*. I mean, cute, right? Wrong. This was a *serious* collection. Like, entire shelves of them. He'd spend hours arranging them! I felt… lost. Like a small, ordinary person in a giant rubber duck-filled world. I was never more aware of my own shortcomings. And the relationship? Well, let's just say it was a slightly deflated… duck, I think. Lesson learned? Find someone who appreciates your brand of crazy, not just a sea of yellow plastic. Relationships are messy, wonderful, terrible, and completely unpredictable. Just like life! *Sigh*.
What about… career? Is this going to be some kind of "follow your dreams" rah-rah session?
"Follow your dreams"? I'm going to be honest with you, the idea makes me want to throw up. They gave me the advice "Follow your dreams" in a classroom, and I don't think anyone realized I didn't *have* any. I was the kid who changed her mind every week. Astronaut! Then a ballerina! Then a pastry chef! Never really happened. But here's what I *can* tell you: Find something that doesn't make you want to jab a fork in your eye at 9 am. Actually enjoy it. Figure out how to make a *living* out of it. That part's important. And be prepared to change your mind. A lot. I still am. Who knows, maybe I'll open a rubber duck museum! Kidding. Probably. Maybe.
Okay, okay. So, how do I actually *use* this? What's the point? Is it just a bunch of rambling?
(Eyes darting around nervously) Okay, good question. The *point*. Hmm… Look, I can't guarantee you any earth-shattering revelations. My goal is mostly to create something that feels… honest. Something that says, "Hey, you're not alone in this chaos." If you find something that resonates, great! If you just read it and roll your eyes, that’s fine too. It's a bit of a mess, but it's my mess.
